The more fool I

I just finished my term paper! The latest draft, anyways. This draft actually has a conclusion, however, so it feels like I'm finished it. Tomorrow I have to fix it up and write up all the work cited stuff and then I'm done. (I'd better be, it's due!) Hooray! I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Anne and Rem both kindly edited it for me and made suggestions but I'm not sure I did very well in fulfilling those suggestions. Still, I'm feeling less hopeless about it than I was last week. Now, I think there's a slim chance the prof won't think it's crap and flunk me. Yes, I'm worrying about this. I have really hated the pass/fail system of my course thus far because I have no idea exactly how well I've passed on the previous components. Was I well above the flunk level or only just? Given how poorly I felt I understood several of our readings, I do wonder.

And I wonder at myself for being so dependent on grades for my own self esteem. This is just foolish.